Despite the prevalence of mental illness in our society, it’s still incredibly misjudged, and because there is such limited public understanding, there are countless myths and stereotypes penetrating our thoughts, behaviors, and discourse. The truth is, the way we talk about mental illness perpetuates stigma and negative stereotypes, and can be detrimental to those vulnerable people who are in need of support and acceptance. People use an array of insensitive words to describe individuals suffering from a mental illness, including crazy, insane, psycho, and wacko, and whether these words are meant to or not, they cause a lot of hurt.
One of my biggest fears when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder was that people – including my friends and family – would start to treat me differently, like I was crazy. Even worse, I was worried they would be afraid of me, because mental illness is seen as unpredictable. At first, this made me want to live a life of secrecy, hiding my diagnosis from everyone around me. But then I realized that the way to diminish the stigma surrounding mental illness was to talk about it, openly and honestly, so that outsiders could begin to really understand it.
For this reason, its vital for people to educate themselves – not only on mental illness itself but also on how to talk to someone suffering from a mental illness. Although it’s true that only those of us diagnosed with a mental illness truly understand what it’s like to suffer from one, it’s essential that the people in our lives know how to talk about it in a way that is helpful and not hurtful to us and our recovery.
The following are some examples of what to do or say, and what not to do or say to someone suffering from a mental illness:
DO NOT tell them to get over it, buck up, or snap out of it.
When you’re suffering from a mental illness, not only are you your own worst critic, but you’re also incredibly frustrated with the symptoms you’re experiencing – so being told to “get over it” by someone who has no idea the turmoil you’re in can end up coming off as condescending and insensitive. In my own experience, I would’ve loved to just “snap out of it,” but like cancer, mental illness isn’t something that you can just will away.
DO NOT say that you know how they feel.
Unless you know exactly which illness someone is suffering from and you have gone through the exact same illness yourself, don’t pretend you know how they feel. Just because you’ve been sad or have experienced a loss doesn’t mean you know how clinical depression feels, and having ups and downs in your mood does not mean you know what it’s like to suffer from bipolar disorder.
DO ask what you can do to help.
It’s often difficult for individuals who are suffering from a mental illness to ask for help, but having support from others makes recovery seem less overwhelming. Even small things like picking up dinner or making a phone call can take a huge weight off of someone experiencing a mental illness, and even if they are too ashamed to accept help, the gesture speaks volumes.
Along these lines, making specific plans can also be helpful, especially to those in serious danger. It provides a timeline to an event, which can prevent them from doing something irreversible, such as attempting suicide. Making plans can be as simple as letting them know that you’re going to stop by or call them at a specific date and time – just make sure you follow through.
DO let them know that you care.
Telling someone that you care can make a huge difference, no matter how much they are struggling. When you’re suffering from a serious mental illness, you often feel worthless and alone. Knowing that someone out there cares, even if it’s just one person, can make the difference between life and death. If someone you know if suffering from a mental illness, don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel.
By Alexis Crase, Anxiety In Teens Contributor