Some days, I look in the mirror and I see unbounded potential and greatness staring back. Other days, I look into that same mirror feeling hideous and insecure. Most teens struggle with insecurities, but seven years ago I stared into the mirror and absolutely loathed the girl looking back at me. I remember sitting in the corner of my bathroom bawling, wishing with my entire existence that I could slip out of my shoes and into someone else’s. I despised my natural ringlet curls, so I would wake up at 6:00 am sharp every day to straighten my hair. I hated the way I cackled when I laughed, I hated the acne spreading across my face and I hated my inability to connect with my peers. When my jokes fell heavy on a silent room, I wanted to retreat into a deep, dark hole.
I started manufacturing stories in my head about what others believed about me. I convinced myself that I was the only disliked friend out of the group—that my “friends” were only acting in a kind way because they pitied me. I allowed my insecurities and negative self-talk to isolate me from my friends—I was effectively sabotaging myself!
it is important to recognize patterns and mental habits that are self-sabotaging.
It can be difficult to reframe your thinking from being your own harshest critic to your biggest supporter. First and foremost, it is important to recognize patterns and mental habits that are self-sabotaging. Breaking the cycle of negative thoughts can be tough to start out, but with diligence, you will start to see more great opportunities permeating throughout your life. Understand that you are not your thoughts, but instead you have thoughts. When negative thoughts come to the surface, deliberately recognize that thought as false and replace it with a positive affirmation about yourself, such as: “I am clever and shamelessly self-expressive,” or “I am generous, caring, and I bring joy to others and myself!” Returning negative thoughts to a neutral or positive place will make it easier to reroute negative thoughts again in the future.
Quit striving for perfection and playing the game of comparisons. This is a sure-fire way of ramping up your insecurities. The old adage rings true: “comparison is the thief of joy.” Truth is, there will always be someone prettier than you, smarter than you and funnier than you. Strive to become the best version of yourself with your own vibrant shade of humor and beauty. You are on an entirely different journey than the next person, with a unique set of experiences, talents and passions. The best thing you can do for those around you is stay true to your own self. When you start transforming your negative self-talk into positive reinforcements, you give yourself a stronger foundation to build yourself from. If this seems daunting, take comfort in knowing that even small steps will get you where you want to go eventually.
By: Brianna Harstad, Anxiety In Teens Contributor