Hi, everyone! Anxiety in Teens is starting a new section, every Monday, called Mention it to Morgs. Mention it to Morgs will be a question and answer section, where I will post the questions that I receive via email each week and answer them to my best ability!
In case you are wondering who you’re writing these questions to, my name is Morgan (but everyone calls me Morgs), and I am 21 years old. I am originally from a Chicago suburb, but I’m now a student at the University of Minnesota – Twin Cities majoring in Communication Studies with a minor in Design and a minor in Leadership! I am very creative and love to do arts & crafts and to bake. I am all about my friends and family! Most importantly for this column, I am super passionate about raising mental health awareness, so ask away!
It’s almost spring!! Yay!
QUESTION:
Hi Morgan! So my best friend is having these extremely bad anxiety attacks. She hasn’t been to school in over a week, and she won’t talk to anyone. She hasn’t been eating, or sleeping, or showering. She doesn’t want her parents to leave her and she won’t leave her house. I went to see her and she didn’t say anything really. She only says “I didn’t do it” and no one has any clue what she thinks she has done. She won’t talk about anything and she cries all time, even though there are no tears. She rocks back and forth and plays with her finger nails. She won’t talk to me and I can’t help her. Is there anything that you think I should do to try and help her? She doesn’t take any medication and she has been to the doctor twice. Thank you for your help!
ANSWER:
Thank you for this question! Now since this case was so severe, along with my own advice I also contacted a professional – Dr. Fred L. Holtz who is the Executive Director of Holtz Psychological Services in New York (http://www.hpstherapy.com/). Dr. Fred’s advice was: “ These are indications of depression and the person in question may be clinically depressed and need a psychiatric evaluation. The friend is being a great support and is doing the right thing, but the girl’s parents need to act fast to help their daughter. The girl is being an excellent support, but she cannot be her therapist or her savior. She should report all she has experienced to the girls parents and be supportive. I think the problems are more than just anxiety. She is withdrawn and not communicating with friends. I wonder what events have been going on in her life recently. I would encourage her to find a good therapist, let her know that you will always be available to listen as a friend, and that you care about her a lot. “
My advice was on ways to cope, because Dr. Fred’s advice covered the basis of her helping a friend with depression. Even if she won’t talk to you, she knows that you’re there and that you care. Maybe try to get outside and go for a walk or even have her shower. Or just turn on the TV or some music – music is something that ALWAYS helps me. It’s difficult to always be asked “what’s wrong” or “do you want to talk about it?” because your friend might not even know what is going on, so try to distract her by not talking about what’s wrong, but just by playing a card game or watching a movie, and then maybe she will feel more comfortable opening up. Your friend will talk about it when she’s ready, no one can force her to talk about it, so she has to take that first step! She seems really depressed, and this is how I was at my lowest point. Just being surrounded by positive people was helpful to me. When I was alone, it made me feel worse, even though I always say I want to be alone when I’m depressed, it just makes things worse, so even if she doesn’t want you to come over, go over there anyways. Paint your nails, read a magazine together, just do things that you both enjoy doing together to get your mind off of depression. You are being AMAZING by being there for your friend, and you are such a great role model for anyone that is going through the same situation. So thank you for your question and all your support and helping a friend with depression!!
UPDATE: The great news is that, the friend went in to get help from a doctor, and is doing much better 🙂
If you have any question big or small, email MentionItToMorgs@anxietyinteens.com!
Keep smiling,
Morgs