Hi, everyone! Anxiety in Teens is starting a new section, every Monday, called Mention it to Morgs. Mention it to Morgs will be a question and answer section, where I will post the questions that I receive via email each week and answer them to my best ability!
In case you are wondering who you’re writing these questions to, my name is Morgan (but everyone calls me Morgs), and I am 20 years old. I am originally from a Chicago suburb, but I’m now a student at the University of Minnesota – Twin Cities majoring in Communication Studies with a minor in Design and a minor in Leadership! I am very creative and love to do arts & crafts and to bake. I am all about my friends and family! Most importantly for this column, I am super passionate about raising mental health awareness, so ask away!
I hope everyone had a great week and Valentine’s Day! I wanted to thank everyone for the amazing feedback that I’ve gotten thus far! I love getting emails, so feel free to email me about anything!
Question:
My girlfriend is really struggling with depression. We are really close, but she won’t talk to me about how she’s feeling. I feel so powerless watching her cry and struggle, but I just don’t know what to do or what’s wrong. All I want to do is help her because I love her. How do I get her to feel comfortable talking to me about her depression or letting her know that I am there to talk to?
Answer:
This sounds familiar to what happened to me with my boyfriend. It is a really difficult situation. For me, it was super difficult to talk to my boyfriend about what was going on, not because I didn’t trust him, but because I didn’t even know myself what was going on. I knew I was depressed, but I didn’t know why. The only way to really let her know that you’re there for her is to actually be there for her. To try and understand what depression actually is together. To always be there for her when she’s sad even if you would much rather be out with all your friends. To reassure her that you will be there for her and tell her that you love her. Feeling powerless is normal, but even if she doesn’t talk to you or seem happier that you’re there, you really are making a difference for her by just being there. If you say that you will be there for her, make sure you actually are there for her because this will allow her to trust you more and hopefully open up over time. Whenever I am depressed, to this day it’s hard for me to talk about what is bothering me. For others it’s easier, and for some it’s a lot harder to talk about certain things. You have to understand that your girlfriend might not necessarily know what upset her or why she’s crying so just be delicate. Don’t push her into talking about things she doesn’t want to or don’t make her feel bad for not talking to you about it, just trust that she will eventually over time. Just remind her that you are always there to listen and that she can talk to you whenever, and she will open up at some point!
Question:
I can’t get out of bed in the morning. It’s almost impossible for me to go to class or work. I don’t know how to explain it, but all of my thoughts prevent me from getting up. I’ve always struggled with getting up in the morning but never like this. Do you have any ways to help with this?
Answer:
Getting out of bed is a really common struggle for people that suffer from depression. Getting out of bed means that you have to face all the problems and conflicts that happen throughout the day. It means you have to face all the stress and feelings of hopelessness. I totally understand this because it is what I went through for over a year. The first thing I started to try to do was look at each day in a more positive light. Getting up and accomplishing things always makes me feel better, so I would try to tell myself that in the morning. Getting up earlier and having breakfast helps as well because I can have some “me time” in the morning before I have to go to class. Some things that helped me was planning to meet one of my friends for coffee in the morning, and this would force me to get out of bed because it would be something positive to look forward to in the morning. If you hold yourself accountable for something or to meet up with someone, you are more likely to get up! Another thing that I did was set my alarm clock across the room, so every time it went off I had to physically walk to turn it off (I still do this now). This way, I don’t push snooze and lay in bed all day. Another thing I do is only sleep in my bed at night, I stopped doing homework/watching netflix in my bed, so that way I knew that my bed was only for sleeping. Another thing that I did was hang a sign right next to my bed, that says “ get up and go to class!”, this helps me in the morning to look at this sign and remind myself that I have responsibilities and that I need to go to class. I also will have my boyfriend call me to make sure I wake up, just in case I have one of those days, where I press snooze a million times and forget about class. Obviously some days will be harder than others, but remember to reward yourself and stay positive. Even if you wanted to wake up at 9 AM, but didn’t get out of bed until 3 PM, you still got out of bed, so it’s something to be proud of!
If you have any question at all, big or small, email me at MentionItToMorgs@anxietyinteens.com!
See you next week!
Keep smiling,
Morgs
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