GoodTherapy.org, August 2nd 2012
Emotional intelligence is a relatively new psychological concept, but it’s been backed by years of research. This kind of intelligence enables people to have positive interactions with others, to predict others’ thoughts and feelings, and to engage in appropriate levels of empathy. Emotional intelligence is strongly correlated with career and academic success because emotionally intelligent people earn the trust of their superiors, make colleagues feel valued, and attract admirers wherever they go. Like other forms of intelligence, early experiences and direct teaching can help children master the fine art of relating to other people. Here’s what you can do to help a child learn this valuable skill.
1) Practice Active Listening
Active listening requires not just that you listen to your child, but that you give feedback such as, “I can see you’re really angry right now” or “How did it make you feel when Julie said that?” Active listeners tend to have better social skills, so this listening style models a valuable behavior to your child. Perhaps more importantly, it helps your child master the art of conversation and encourages her to continue to provide you more information. Providing the right kind of information during conversations is an important social skill that will help your child in adulthood.
2) Teach Impulse Control
Children are impulsive creatures, but impulse control plays a surprising role in emotional intelligence. Children who can control their immediate reactions to things have an additional moment to think about another person’s feelings. They’re also less likely to say things they regret. Reward your child for practicing patience and impulse control, and allow her to watch you doing the same thing. If you avoid yelling and you apologize when you’re wrong, your child will quickly learn the value of these skills.