Whether you feel tension trying to fit in with the cool clique, in a fight with your current group of friends, or just want to spice things up: it can be great to sit with a new group of people at lunch.
Why, you ask?
Who doesn’t like to make a few new friends, instantly? Even if he isn’t on XYZ varsity sports team or she’s not wearing XYZ brand jeans, you never know what incredible friendship can develop out of just giving someone new a chance. One reader of ours once wrote in to us that she saw one of our tweets via social media and decided to make the commitment to meet three new people that week. After just a couple days, she explained that she approached another girl whom she’d vaguely known since elementary school to have lunch with her. They had never spoken more than a few words to each other over the years but after an hour of lunch they found that not only did they love the same music, both dealt with but also shared the same second cousins! You never know who that kid next to you in math class really is (and how awesome they are), pay attention to when you may be quick to judge someone.
Goal this week: talk to 3 new people.
— Anxiety In Teens (@AnxietyInTeens) July 15, 2013
You never know who that kid next to you in math class really is (and how awesome they are), pay attention to when you may be quick to judge someone
But… for some people, the thought of coming up to a new group of people and having lunch is absolutely horrifying. Here are some things to keep in mind before you
- Take the Pressure Off of Yourself. Take a few minutes to close your eyes and imagine what it would be like if someone came up to your table to have lunch. …You probably didn’t judge them as much as you thought others would do to you, did you? If you come up to the group both confidently and politely, (for example, “Hey! Can I sit with you guys today?”) it will seem like the NOT big of deal that it is!
- Clean Up. Wear your favorite outfit to school that day. When you look and feel good, it will shine through.
- Start small. If you’re feeling really nervous, you don’t have to go up to complete strangers yet. Perhaps there is someone in your English class that shared their notes with you a week ago, or someone whom you shared a joke with: you already know they are at least friendly!
- Think of the Satisfaction You’ll Have. Whether you end up sitting with them or not, the act of facing your fears and asking is worth celebrating!! What a feat! If you struggle with social anxiety or have generally low self-esteem, this is a huge step! It doesn’t matter if they say yes or no, that has nothing to do with you or your worth. (you’ll never know if they had to leave in a few minutes, if that seat was really saved for someone else, etc). This is all about you becoming a better person and facing your fears!
Anyone have a tumultuous middle or high school lunch experience? Leave them in the comments!
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