How to Help Someone with Anxiety: Six Steps to Encouragement

You may know a friend who is dealing with anxiety or another mental health issue, and they may have kept it for a secret for a long time. Maybe they’ve just opened up to you for the first time and you have no idea what to do! Here are six steps to help be the best friend you can be:

Step 1: Let Them Know Its OK to Get Help

Often, people with anxiety and other mental health disorder can feel really alone. They may feel like no one else can understand what they are going through, and they could use a friend. While friends (like you!) are so important in the lives of those dealing with a mental health issue, they also need to get help from a therapist or other mental health professional if there is a more serious mental health issue. Encourage them that many people go to see therapists and psychologists, and that these professionals have seen everything- no matter how weird and uncomfortable you or your friend or loved one may feel!

Step 2: Don’t Judge Them, and Let Them Know They Need Not Judge Themselves

If your friend has opened up to you this far- congratulations, you have built some awesome trust with someone. Chances are, they are feeling really misunderstood and maybe even just testing the waters with telling someone for the first time what they are going through. No matter how shocked or confused you may be, don’t make him feel even more alone by making fun of or saying something not very thoughtful like, “Just relax!” or “That is really weird!” Most people understand this. However, there is a flip side of the coin: more often than not, your friend may be the one placing judgement on himself. You can tell by listening to him say things like, “This is so embarrassing but…” “I am such a freak, you won’t believe this but…” “I can’t believe I am thinking these things.” Let them know that they are not alone, and further encourage them to get professional help.

Step 3: Let Them Know May Not Understand but You Care About Them and That They Are Loved

If they are open to having a conversation, be there for it. Put down the iPhone and give them your full attention, because this conversation probably took a lot of courage on her behalf. Your friend may be having a hard time saying out loud things that she has been holding in her mind for a long time, mostly because she has been too ashamed or too scared to talk about her anxiety disorder. She may tell you things that make you uncomfortable or you may not know the exact words to say back, but the most important thing is that she knows you are there for her and she is worthy getting help and getting better.

Step 4: Let Them Know they are not broken and they Can and WILL get better

As a continuation of the last point, some things might sound strange or irrational. You may think, “Why is he so scared of that?” or “Why would anyone have a panic attack about that if he’s already double-checked that it couldn’t ever happen?” Even if you don’t understand, you need to give him confidence that mental health disorder can and do get better. Much better. He is not his disorder- this is just something that he has to overcome and one day will look back and be amazed by not only his strength but the great friends he had by his side to overcome.

Step 5: Encourage Them To Tell their story

There are over 1 in 4 people with a mental health disorder today (<–click to tweet that quote!) That means out of every four people you saw today, someone could be hiding a deep secret about their anxiety, depression, eating disorder or other mental illness. But, when stories are told, there is power. At Anxiety In Teens, we’ve collected many stories that readers send in to us, here on the Stories page:
(look out for our iOS Story Sharing app coming out soon!)
When people tell their stories, stigma is reduced and this world becomes a better place for understanding and mental health advancement. Encourage your friend that if she tells her story, she may help many other people who are dealing with a much similar issue but too afraid to speak up.

Step 6: Help Them Have HOPE!

Last but not least, hope is a key ingredient in overcoming anxiety. Help her see the progress she has already made, the feats she has overcome, and that many other people live well with anxiety and without symptoms at all. Share this article with her for more hope advice: https://anxietyinteens.org/hope/

Like this advice but having a hard time articulating? Here’s a little pic you can share below to those you care about: