Many of us want to feel better about ourselves, want to start living a different way, and/or want to just feel comfortable about ourselves. But there are many experiences in life that do the opposite. Maybe during our childhood years, we were told that we weren’t good enough for our parents or were told we were bad kids from our teachers. And these negative statements created in our head seem to grip on tight. Eventually we tell ourselves that it’s true, “I can’t succeed, I am a bad person, I can’t do anything right.” And we live with these statements that run over and over in our head that don’t do anything but attract more difficulties to us.
One great way to start moving towards the opposite direction and start overcoming our negative thinking is to create positive affirmations about ourselves. An affirmation is the claim that something is true. These affirmation starts persuading the mind and making them also feel true because it’s difficult for the mind to distinguish from what’s fantasy and reality.
There are many audio affirmations that can be found online on sites such as Youtube. Psychology Today provides 5 steps on creating tailored affirmations that are effective and powerful and can help make a difference in your life!
They go more or less like this:
Step 1:
Create a list of what you have thought of as your negative qualities. Any criticisms and anything bad someone has told you before (parents, teachers, and other peers). Among all these criticisms, look for a common theme (e.g. “I am not worthy” “I am not smart” “No one likes me”). Don’t judge whether if they’re accurate.
The article points an important fact, that we are humans and humans have flaws.
Step2:
Now write an affirmation that adds a positive twist to the self-judgment statements from step 1. Use powerful words to beef up your new statement. An “I’m worthy” could say “I’m remarkable and cherished.” Ask a trusted person to help you make it stronger.
Step 3:
Take the new statements and repeat them to yourself for about five minutes three times a day. This could be done when you’re getting ready in the morning when you frequent your mirror. Notice how things feel different over time and the “realness” of the words you are repeating.
Step 4:
Explore what negative feelings the negative self-judgments made you feel. As the reprogramming of your thoughts is in process, “you want to move from the concept of the affirmation to a real, positive embodiment of the quality you seek.”
Last Step (5)!
Get a trusted friend to repeat the affirmation to you. As you hear the words, allow it to sink in and accept them. If you don’t feel comfortable having someone repeat it to you, you can always use your reflection in the mirror.
Think of affirmations as a powerful tool that can help change your mood and some of the ingrained thoughts we have about ourselves. Let’s start seeing ourselves in a new light today.
-Jimmy Jara, Anxiety In Teens Contributor