Let’s face it: sometimes it’s difficult to clue your family or even some of your closest friends in during times of great stress or turmoil. Perhaps you may have reason to believe your loved ones will misunderstand you, or maybe you would feel more comfortable talking to someone who isn’t involved in your situation. Whatever your reason is, it’s perfectly okay to reach out for help from a professional and confide in them first – even if it’s something unfamiliar and daunting. Here are some benefits that anonymous loved ones of mine have found by linking themselves to a mental health professional. Let’s call them Anna, Nick, and Taylor.
Anna – “It gave me a place to think and reflect”
A benefit often seen by many involves the simple act of creating a safe space to talk about everything that’s been going on and work on overcoming those obstacles. “When my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, it felt so sudden and devastating. Even more so, it was beyond agonizing when neither of them would face me with the truth of it. I lost both of them and I felt so unresolved and mistreated. ”
Anna digs deeper on her pain – “It was around the end of my freshman year at college, so on top of processing all of this, I still had finals going on and I knew I needed to focus and finish out strong. Somehow.” At this time, Anna was having trouble eating, sleeping, and developed cystic acne. She decided to see a counselor during the last week of classes.
“I remember the walk there vividly. Everything felt so hazy and cloudy because I was so overwhelmed. But once I got in that room with my counselor for the first time, I finally felt like I was being listened to. Not just heard.”
Nick – “It’s the first place where I really started to learn how to take care of myself”
Nick has spent most of his life struggling with anxiety. “Sometimes I would go into a panic attack, and I had no idea why. Not knowing why made me panic even more” Nick recollects. “I’ve been seeing my school therapist for a few years now, and I felt guilty because it didn’t seem to be too effective on me and I felt like I was wasting my therapist’s time.”
“My therapist was patient with me though. When things turned for the worst, they never took any of my frustration personally. I was allowed to feel what I needed to feel, and I’ve learned that it’s important to honor my emotions to help work past them. It can be extremely hard sometimes because our culture teaches men to hide and bottle up their emotions. If we show them, we’re perceived as weak. But this just isn’t true at all.”
Like many others, Nick has a full understanding of the trial-and-error process seen in many psychological healthcare settings. “I think there are two big obstacles – summoning up enough courage to reach out for help, and finding the bravery to keep trying when you’re working on a plan to improve your mental health. Relapse is a normal part of recovery. Sometimes one plan might not be as effective as it used to be. Circumstances change. A lot of things can happen,” Nick says, “but you need to keep trying. Don’t give up hope.”
Taylor – “My family stigmatized mental illness, so I was afraid they would be ashamed of me when I figured out I needed the help”
Taylor was born into one of many families that have difficulty approaching the topic of mental health. “They swept anything unpleasant under the rug. If you were depressed, you just needed to stop being depressed. If you worried too much, you just needed to stop worrying. There was never any real acknowledgement of mental illness in my house growing up.”
Receiving help can be a reluctant choice when you’re raised in the type of environment that Taylor was raised in. “I remember my biggest fear not even being about me. I was worried about my family finding out.” Luckily, Taylor wasn’t afraid to express this in a meeting with her psychologist. “I just wanted to know that everything would be confidential. I wanted the help, but I was deathly afraid of my parents getting a phone call in case I missed an appointment or something. And it all winded up working out.”
Taylor doesn’t know if her family will ever be open to these types of discussions on mental health, but she doesn’t let her spirits go down. “Whatever they believe, I know that I can focus on myself and I have the support to do that now. There’s nothing wrong with looking for positive change.”
By: Sarah Rosenquist , Anxiety In Teens Contributor