“Hey, do you know of any good therapists near campus?”
That was the gist of an email I received from my friend Kate, whose child, a freshman, will be attending college with my daughter—on the other coast of the U.S.
I wrote back: “You’re in luck, sugar!” attaching a file I’d put together two years ago, when we flew cross-country to deliver our daughter Grace to her new college. Gracie struggled with anxiety and panic attacks during her senior year. The combination of a great therapist, the right med, and a summer of self-care and rest after an overwrought, over-achieving, over-pressured senior year had set her on a path towards recovery. Still, we weren’t comfortable having Grace such a distance away without providing her with a good therapist. She wasn’t sure she’d even want to pursue therapy at school, but we wanted to have someone in place as a backstop if she needed it.
It’s daunting to navigate student health or to research therapy providers in a city or town that’s far from home. As parents, we already have enough worries on our minds as we drop our kids off in their freshman dorm rooms: Will they thrive in this new environment? Will they make some friends and not feel lonely and weird? Will they eat well, sleep okay, call us once a week (or text every hour?) Will they make good choices? The drop-off can be even more unnerving if your child has struggled with anxiety or depression, or an eating disorder, or a thought disorder. It was challenging enough to steer them into the best treatment right at home in your own city or town. How are you supposed to find good care when your kid is far away, perhaps in a huge city with a bazillion providers, or a tiny rural area with few options?
So here’s a step-by-step primer to finding a great therapist for your college-bound kid:
But wait, you’re thinking, they have campus mental health services, right? It’s right on campus. They’re only there to serve the students. And we’re paying a lot to send our kid to this school. Surely, campus student health will be enough.
Here’s my experience: Nope.
Campus mental health services exist primarily as general resource centers and referral banks. Your child most likely cannot receive on-going therapeutic treatment through their college’s student health services. Typically, a student suffering a mental health issue shows up at the student health center and meets with a counselor for a maximum number of sessions – anywhere from one to four, in most cases—before they are referred “out” to a list of approved treatment providers. A student who is not in crisis might have to wait a week or two for just an initial consult at student health services. The mental health professionals at campus health services are well-intentioned and kind, and OVERWORKED.
As reported by USA today, more and more students need mental health support, and colleges are struggling to meet the increased demand. Once a kid has exhausted the boilerplate two or three visits, she’s handed a provider list. Now, she’s on her own to find someone who takes her insurance, who is accepting new patients, whose availability dovetails with her schedule, AND who feels like a fit. That’s a lot to put on the shoulders of a young man or woman who is already feeling overwhelmed.
But with a little effort, parents can get a head start on the process. Or your child can do this research if they are independent and motivated:
- Search the college or university website for “Student Mental Health,” or “Student Health Services” and note the contact info. Then call or email and ask them for their approved list of behavioral health providers. While you have their attention, it’s also worth asking how students typically get prescriptions filled on campus, if your child is taking any medication. You don’t have to identify yourself unless you want to.
(If you can’t find student health services online, then contact the office of the Dean of Students and ask them to hook you up.)
- If your child will be covered by the university’s student health insurance plan, you’ll want to ask the student health services folks about provided coverages for mental health treatment, and get a list of approved providers for the student health insurance plan. Then skip to #5!
- If your child will be staying on your family’s health insurance, contact your plan provider, either using online tools or by phone, and ask them to generate a list of in-network behavioral health providers by zip code for the college or university town. If there are no in-network providers, then call your insurance company to make sure you understand benefits for out-of-network behavioral health treatment. (If your child will be in college out-of-state, you might want to have this conversation anyway.)
- Cross-check the list of providers from the college’s student health services with your insurance company providers. Any overlaps may be a good place to start your list. Don’t be put off if you see a name that’s not on the college’s radar screen. They’re still worth looking into.
- If you’re into such things, you can use a website like healthgrades or Psychology Today to check out ratings for the therapists on your list. Don’t let a little thing like four stars versus five stars put you off interviewing someone – who knows who gave that rating and what the context may have been?
- Check out your candidates on a map to make sure their location will be accessible for your child.
- Now that you have a college and insurance-approved, geographically suitable list, make some calls. In all, I conducted phone interviews with four therapists, and it was a huge help to get a sense of their experience, their approach, and interests. Your child could certainly do this step, if she prefers.
- Review findings with your child to see which provider(s) he wants to meet. We were clear with Gracie that she didn’t have to commit to working with someone, she just had to connect with a minimum of two providers, in person or by phone, so she could choose an initial go-to person if and when she wanted therapeutic support.
- Set up intake appointments, if possible for the move-in days if you’ll be there with your child, before the excitement of freshman week, classes and collegiate freedom sets in. After the consult(s), debrief with your son or daughter if they’re open to it. Urge them to make a decision before you leave campus as to who they’d like to work with, and put the contact info in both of your phones. Then climb in the car with your box of Kleenex and drive away. They’ll be fine.
Grace wanted to meet with three people from our list – she decided on one who she thought was a fit, although she didn’t seek counseling until winter of freshman year. There were too many other adjustments she was making all fall– she was fully immersed in her new world. But when winter came and she was ready, so were we.
And if after all this, your child ends up with a poor fit – no worries. You still have your list. Grace wound up not feeling well-matched with her first choice. She went with a different therapist her sophomore year– from the same list we devised before arriving on campus–and that second provider has been terrific for her.
Good luck with your search. Here’s hoping your son or daughter has healthful transition to collegiate life.
By: Holly Kania, Anxiety In Teens Contributor