As children grow up and out of their elementary school years, they begin the transitional state in life often associated with hormonal terrors and a variety of events that are rites of passage. That being said, a strained relationship with older family members – especially parental figures – is recognized as a common developmental experience.
But what about instances where there’s more turmoil to the story? Mental illnesses of all kinds are no stranger to adolescence, yet detecting and managing such conditions can become challenging on top of the weight of teenagehood for both the teen and their loved ones. In fact, many parents find themselves in their own realm of anguish as they watch their child go through such experiences with a feeling of helplessness and a lack of understanding.
Here are 7 tips to keep in mind to both alleviate such worries and bring a level of empathy and understanding to your relationship with your teen:
Validation
Any teenager can be caught exaggerating their circumstance from time-to-time. Whether this is true or not, it’s important to meet your teen with a level of respect for their reflection of events that took place that made them feel the way they do. By outwardly validating your teen, you’re let them know on the minimal level that their voice has been heard loud and clear and that they’re not being overlooked. This can be taken on both a general sense and in the realm of psychological conditions; rewarding your teen with the acknowledgement and support of their mental health struggles creates a sense of companionship and reminds them that they’re not alone. This warm approach can help pave the path to mutual trust and respect.
Patience
This one goes for your teen and you. It’s crucial to see patience as key when dealing with your teen, but it’s also just as necessary to implement for your performance as a parent. Let’s face it: there’s no official rulebook that can spell out everything about how your teen specifically struggles with mental illness, so both patience and time will have to account as learning factors for recovery and happiness. There will be times where interacting with your teen can be extremely difficult. There will also be times where you feel discouraged as a parent for not living up to the standard you set for yourself with helping your teen. Remember to acknowledge these obstacles as part of the journey and implement your own self-care to keep your wellbeing in check too.
Recognize Relapse
Relapse is a completely normal aspect of any type of recovery – including mental illness. Simply put, your teen will experience ups and downs as they learn more about their own mental illness in addition to the natural ups and downs of everyday human experience. As a parent, you have the power and influence to relieve some anguish off your teen by helping them find the strength to accept and cope with the relapse. Please be mindful that your teen may be in a place where they’re especially critical of themselves as they may feel a sense of failure. Approaching your teen with tenderness and compassion is the best way to help them on their feet again.
Get Involved
Parents play an important role in their teen’s lives. One of the most powerful demonstrations of this is when a parent serves as part of their teen’s support system. Creating open discussions with your teen where feelings and concerns can be exchanged on a regular basis can provide relief for the teen – as their troubles will not be burdened on their shoulders alone. Implementing techniques of active listening such as being attentive, asking open-ended questions, and stepping away from imposing your own solutions speak volumes about your empathy as a parent to your teen. Becoming involved in appointments, leisure activities, and school work also prove to be beneficial.
Respect Their Space
As with any other person, your teen has a right to their own privacy bubble. Approaching your teen with any type of support too fast or too frequently can become overwhelming. Be sure to make considerate judgement on when, how, and what you want to approach your teen with. Don’t be afraid to directly ask about boundaries either – this can actually help paint a clear picture for both parties on where the boundaries should be. Additionally, remember that these boundaries can change overtime.
Research
It’s important for you to do your homework on your teen’s struggles too. Since your teen may look to you as a guide for coping, it’s essential for you to make the time and effort to heighten your awareness and education on the foundations of their mental illness. For example, if your teen has experienced panic attacks, it would be beneficial to learn methods that can help another person as they go through the episode. If your teen is seeing a mental health professional of any kind it’s also a phenomenal choice to ask any questions you might have about being prepared and informed.
Appreciation
No matter what the scenario is with your teen, remember to appreciate their talents and personality as individuals outside of their mental illness. Not everything in their lives will be tied back to it and not everything about what they say or do serves as a result of having mental illness. Appreciating your teen outwardly also means having other day-to-day aspects of life in your interactions so your teen doesn’t feel threatened by your perception of them and their capabilities. By doing this, you’re also helping the mental health community by combating stigma that’s associated with mental health.
By: Sara E. Rosenquist, Anxiety In Teens Contributor