Coming to terms with your past isn’t always easy, especially when it’s still haunting you. However, you may find some comfort knowing that you’re not alone in that everyone has their demons. Whether you’re 16 or 65, all the years of life leading up to the present are what made you who you are today. Yet some of us stand in the quicksand of a haunted past, feeling like every time we try to escape we get sucked in deeper. However, you’ll never escape the dark unless you find the light. In order to confront the demons from your past you can do a few things: thank them, blame them, and/or accept them.
Although most people wouldn’t go as far to say “I love all the bad things that have happened to me”, there is some sense in appreciating some aspects of the negative things. Living with no obstacles to overcome, no moments of temporary, or complete despair simply doesn’t prepare you for the reality that is life. Life is inherently difficult and encountering the adversities of it only means you are living. Have there been moments in your life that you feel you would have been better off not to experience? Of course there are. But life is like a virus; you’re initially defenseless to an attack but after you win the battle you are more equipped to fight the next time around.
Some things are entirely out of your control, but it is imperative to differentiate what is and what is not under your control. For example, your parents, genetics and the socioeconomic status that you were born into are variables that you had absolutely no control over. However, the grades you get in school, people you associate yourself with, and the individuals that you choose to date, are completely in your control. Yet, whether or not you have direct control over something, you do control the amount of power it has over you.
If you feel something you had no power over is haunting you then blame it for the uncontrollable darkness it has brought, but do not blame it when you haven’t gotten up to find the light. It’s important to note that putting blame on something that was out of your control, is drastically different than giving that event a self-defeating amount of accountability over your life.
However, if you live in a constant state of blame you begin to victimize yourself to everything and everyone and begin to lose what control you do have over your life. You can’t face your demons that way. The squirrel in the road may have caused you to swerve, but you can’t let go of the wheel and blame the squirrel when you crash…car insurance won’t cover that.
Your demons aren’t going anywhere; they will always be a part of you. The question is whether you are going to conform to your demons or confront them. Be mindful of their existence; however, do not under any circumstance let them hold you in the past. Use your demons to your advantage and transform your fear into commitment. Commit to finding the light even in the darkest times. You cannot seal them off from coming into your life, but you most certainly can stop them from inhabiting you forever.
We all have our demons; the key is being able to embrace them as a part of life. Nothing grows in darkness, light is vital to life.
By: Corey Dawn, Anxiety In Teens Contributor